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Sometimes, You Have to Live Your Life, Not Write About It

The web experts say that you should never leave your website. Yet, there are times in life that you must stop your website activities, which is in direct conflict with experts. These advisors say that you should have an article once a day or minimum once a week. That you should always be on top of the content of your website with constant updates, if you want your website to be successful. But, then there is life. I find that God doesn’t give us challenges when we say so. No, he gives us challenges when He is ready. Sometimes in life, you have to live your life, not write about it.

Therefore, I left my website updates for the last few months. I am guilty of this. But, here was the deal. I grew over the past few months into a better person. I found that I was capable of doing things that I thought I was too weak to do. I found out that I am strong and capable.

A few months ago, my husband’s work suddenly sent him out of town on business with no trips home. His days were long and tiring, so our daily conversations were short. I didn’t try to list out my problems to him. There was nothing he could do to help. As a mom, I had to step not only in my own shoes, but also cover my husband’s shoes. My days were long and tiring.

During this time, life did not go smoothly. There were health problems, house maintenance problems, lawns to be mowed, in addition to my regular duties. I was overwhelmed. Each day, the Lord brought me through the day. But, I found that my sewing and quilting went down to almost no activity. I was so tired, that each stitch, that I sewed ended up being ripped out. So, I stopped. I even stopped sewing in the van. I needed that time to rest or run errands or figure out how to fix something.

For the first time since becoming a mom, I knew what a single mom feels like. And then, I got jury duty summons. This was a “are you kidding” moment. I had a lot of those over these past few months. Getting the jury duty summons was like having a rug pulled out from under me. It was the last straw. I think I cried a good cry that day. But, I didn’t have time to wallow in my problems, I needed to find a solution. My daughter needed a place to stay, but how to get her to swim practice in another state or to her doctor’s appointments, I had no clue. My parents graciously agreed to take my daughter in, but the other activities would have to wait. Again, the life of a single mom was on my mind.

My heart goes out to single moms. I realize that most of you will not read this post. You are way too busy. I also realize that the thought of a hobby like quilting may be a dream, but you just don’t have time. My husband did come home. All I can say is that God helped me through each day. The days were hard and long. I worried a lot. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Only He was able to lift the weight.

Single moms, please enjoy my website, but know that it is okay to dream of making a quilt or sewing a dress. It is okay to order the new dress from a website and go to a big department store to buy a quilt. It is even okay to buy the fabric for a quilt and let it sit there in a drawer or closet. There will be time later on to quilt and sew. Enjoy the time with your children. The time is short even though it feels long and hard. The rewards are incredible. I know that the time alone with my daughter is precious.

My daughter and I have grown closer through this experience. We worked as a team. But there were tough moments like when my daughter had to have a spinal tap after already going through other painful medical tests. The “Are you Kidding” moments were real. There were a lot of times that I would say, “God I know you don’t give me more than I can handle, but it is getting hard.” I am sure you have those moments too.

Please know that there are many hearts of women out there, who pray for you. As you collapse into bed each night, seek God in your last wakeful moments to help you through your day. He may not take away your circumstances and you may have a lot of “are you kidding me” moments. But, He will walk with you, if you ask Him.

I am sorry for not updating my website. I am sure that my numbers are low if nonexistent. The last few month’s experiences have made me a better person. I will be updating my website over the next couple weeks. Please be patient with me.  One thing I know for sure, this life is an adventure and a blessing.